Wedding Roles & Responsibilities
published April 2, 2010
There are many different roles for family and friends to play, helping to make your special day as stress free as possible, taking some of the load off you, and allowing you to focus on the main event. It will depend on the style and location of your wedding as to the exact roles you feel will be needed to make your day perfect.
Firstly, and most obviously, are the Bride and Groom’s roles. Together you need to decide on a date and location, style for your wedding and reception, and what kind of ceremony you want. A guest list then needs to be decided on, which is generally a third from the bride’s family; a third from the groom’s family and a final third comprising friends of the couple. Once these decisions have been made, the real fun begins!
Well, almost… Although nobody likes to talk about the cost, it is important to set a budget at the beginning. Whether you are paying for the weddings yourselves, (which is becoming more popular these days, allowing couples the freedom to have exactly what they want in a wedding day) or whether the bride’s father is paying or contributing; setting a realistic budget, and keeping to it is crucial. It is no joy starting married life in debt. Whether this is a few hundred or a few hundred thousand, the perfect day can be achieved due to the wide choice available these days for wedding ceremonies and receptions.
A specific responsibility of the Bride, is to choose her bridesmaids and maid/matron of honor, what they will all be wearing and their thank you gifts. Most importantly of all, the Bride needs to choose her own dress, and is likely to ask for help and advice from those closest to her.
As with the Bride, the Groom is responsible for choosing his best man, and their outfit for the day. Traditionally it is the Groom who is to ensure all legal requirements are met. At the reception, the Groom will be expected to give a speech, generally thanking everyone for coming, and for all the support and generosity that has been shown towards him and his bride.
The maid/matron of honor is traditionally the bride’s best friend or sister, and will be there to offer support before and during the wedding day. She will be responsible for coordinating such activities as the dress fitting for the bridesmaids and the bridal shower. On the actual day of the wedding, she may be needed to help the Bride dress, arrange veil and train during the procession, and hold the bridal bouquet at the alter. At the reception, it is tradition to dance with the best man, although bridesmaids may want to avoid giving their number to 'Johnny’s' womanizing best friend!
The main role of the bridesmaids, along with keeping the Bride calm, is to help the maid/matron of honor, walk in the procession and mingle at the reception with guests and ushers. There is no limit to the number of bridesmaids you can have - as many or as few as you wish. Choosing your bridesmaids is not easy, as you don’t want to offend anyone by not asking them, but in the end you need to remember it is YOUR day and therefore choose the people that mean the most to you. When Girls Aloud pop star Cheryl Tweedy married English Premier League footballer Andy Cole, she was possibly looking at having 10 bridesmaids if she included her band mates and closest members of her family! In the end Cheryl chose to have 7 bridesmaids who were family members and her band-mates attended the wedding as guests. Punk Pop Princess Avril Lavigne opted to ask four of her friends to be bridesmaids.
If you have close friends with children, a goddaughter, or nieces who you would like to involve in your day as more than just guests, but feel they are too young to be a bridesmaid, then you could consider having them as flower girls (usually between the ages of 4 and 8). Flower girls walk ahead of the bride, either scattering petals or carrying flowers in a basket. At the wedding of Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross, seven flower girls carrying dupion silk baskets led her down a red carpet aisle.
Ring bearer is another role that can be given to a child between the ages of 4 and 8 who has special connections to the Bride and groom. Generally a little boy, who walks behind the flower girls with the wedding rings on a pillow.
The Groom, on the other hand, is supported on the run up to, and during, the wedding by his Best Man. When choosing a candidate for this role, you will be looking for a master of many trades! Quite commonly this is either the Groom’s oldest and dearest friend, or a close male relative. Jerry Maguire star Jay Mohr broke with tradition, and had his four-year-old son fill the role, and presented him with a matching ring at the end of the ceremony.
Former Busted singer Matt Willis has asked music producer David Gest to be his best man when he gets married this August, even though the pair only recently met on British reality TV show "I’m a celebrity…get me out of here". They formed such a strong bond, that having become close friends, Matt wants David at his side.
The Best Man’s responsibilities extend to a lot more than organizing the bachelor party, and making an amusing speech! He will need to be a diplomat, public speaker as well as an organizer. His duties will involve arranging transport to the church, looking after the rings, paying church fees, accompanying the chief bridesmaid to sign the register, helping the photographer gather guests for photos, making sure guests have transport to get to reception and know where the reception is taking place, and most importantly of all providing continual moral support for the Groom.
As well as the Best Man, the Groom may choose to have Ushers, whose main responsibility will be on the actual wedding day, where they will greet and seat guests. Female guests should be greeted by the usher offering their right arm to be escorted to her seat with her date or spouse following behind. Male guests should be simply led to their seat.
Not to be forgotten are the parents of the Bride, who will want to offer assistance and provide moral support. Once upon a time, weddings were generally planned by the mother of the Bride, but these days Brides will have their own vision of their wedding day! The role has changed to be a listener and source of support, rather than a planner.
If the bride comes from a traditional family, it is likely that her father has been saving for her wedding day from the day she was born, and will therefore want to offer financial support. The father of the bride will escort his daughter down the aisle, and be the first to speak at the reception.
There are lots of roles traditionally associated with weddings, however the ultimate decision as to who does what on your big day should be a choice based on what will make the bride and groom happy.
by WebIdeas Co