The Wedding Party
published April 25th, 2014
Choosing members of your wedding party can be quite a challenge, leaving you with much food for thought and a few sleepless nights. If you have lots of really close friends then selecting the “cream of the crop” to be key members of your bridal party could result in one or two of your friends having their noses severely put out of joint. So here we offer a few pearls of wisdom to help you in the decision making process…
The Maid of Honor
This is where you face the dilemma of choosing between the friend you’ve known the longest or the friend you spend the most time with at present. Also, if your closest friend has just won a beauty pageant and looks stunning wearing a potato sack then you may be worried that she’ll outshine you on the day and steal your thunder. Although you shouldn’t really pick your Maid of Honor and then suggest it was because she was no oil painting.
They say blood is thicker than water, so based on that assumption you should pick your sibling over your closest friend. If your sister is your closest friend then you have no dilemma, but if you don’t really get on with your sister then you should probably go for your oldest and most loyal friend. Unless you want to hold out an olive branch to your sister and select her as your Maid of Honor in an attempt to build bridges.
Whoever you select as your Maid of Honor should be someone you’re really close to - someone who can be brutally honest with you, and at the same time tell you what you want to hear. She should be more of a “people person” than a wallflower, as the Maid of Honor is the chief ringleader. It’s her job to plan the bridal shower and keep all wedding related operations running smoothly. Her job may also involve making a toast at the wedding reception. With all this in mind you don’t want someone who’s scared of their own shadow, indecisive and terrified of public speaking - no matter how close a friend they are!
So go for the confident organiser if you want to play it safe, or choose the scatterbrained and forgetful timid mouse if you’re prepared to hold her hand along the way.
The Best Man
Likewise, if you’re a groom saddled with the task of choosing your Best Man then you should take all of the above into consideration. Except perhaps the part about winning a beauty pageant.
In some places it’s customary for the groom to choose his father as the Best Man, so that could save you a lot of hard decision making. Again, you should go with the brother or the best friend who doesn’t have a penchant for heavy drinking the night before a wedding celebration.
Your Best Man is responsible for your bachelor events/stag party and the key word here is “responsible”. If your closest friend is prone to knocking back tequilas at 3am in his underpants then he may not be your wisest choice. Go for someone who’s level-headed, decisive, and ideally, calm under pressure. Remember, this is the guy who will take ultimate responsibility for your wedding ring. So handing this task to someone who loses his keys on a regular basis is really asking for trouble!
All eyes and ears will also be on the Best Man when he makes his speech, so he should also be confident at public speaking - without offending everyone in the room with his crude jokes, and making the bride and groom die of embarrassment. Perhaps ask him for “the gist” of his speech before he delivers it to a live audience.
Finally, he should get along with the bride - although obviously not too well.
As with the Maid of Honor, your bridesmaids should be first and foremost your sisters or cousins, and then consider your closest friends. Perhaps also consider your fiancé’s sister if you get along with her.
The chosen ones shouldn’t be drama queens or needy and emotional wrecks. They should be fun, supportive friends who can participate in all pre-wedding events and give everyone warm smiles on your big day. If one of your best friends is a surly type who gets a nose bleed whenever she cracks a smile then you should probably take her to one side and let her down gently.
The bridesmaids may also need to run errands, attend meetings at the brides request, and stay until the end of the wedding reception - having danced the night away.
Again, family members should ideally be at the top of your list, but failing that then close friends who are willing to lend a hand in the run up to your wedding day. In the absence of Ushers, Groomsmen may also be called upon to assist with the seating on the day.
Be mindful of your groomsman selection, especially if you’re going out on the town the night before the wedding. It only takes one bad apple…
Part of the job description is also to flirt outrageously with the bridesmaids. Although any lothario who’s likely to chat up the bride should be given a wide berth.
The Flower Girl
Not to be confused with the junior bridesmaids (who are mini versions of the actual bridesmaids) the flower girl (or girls) should just be a family member who looks adorable and can scatter flower petals down the aisle.
As any parent will tell you, children can be rather “unpredictable” at times. So be prepared for a tantrum and floods of tears on the day. You may wish to bear this in mind when selecting the right child for the job. Some children have a tendency to “kick off” at every occasion that presents itself to them. Others can be angels of course.
In an ideal world they should walk happily down the isle, and not be dragged - kicking and screaming.
The Ring Bearer
As you may have gathered, this little guy is responsible for bearing the ring. As long as he makes it down the aisle without losing it or using it as a projectile then you should be safe.He’ll be accompanying the Flower Girl, so the two should ideally get along. You don’t really want kicking and biting to occur en route. It may be an idea to make sure the ring is firmly secured to whatever it’s being carried on, or in. Your wedding ring is the one ring… that you don’t want to lose!